When duty calls: U.S.-based Guyanese soldier remembers life changing moments on the battlefront

By Danielle Campbell-Lowe

When 17-year-old Zhivonnie Edwards enlisted in the United States Army in 1999, nothing prepared her for the life-changing moments behind the frontlines of Afghanistan, where she witnessed the harrowing experiences of colleagues losing their lives and limbs.
Edwards, now 30, left Guyana for the U. S. at the age of 14, with the aim of providing a better life for her family. She had attended the Stella Maris Primary School before gaining a place at the Christ Church Secondary School and transitioned easily to the educational system in the U. S.
While in high school, Edwards had already set her sights on the fastest way of earning and soon joined the junior military programme. “I had always wanted to be a doctor but the process of schooling to become a doctor was far too long, and so I was looking for a fast way of making money and taking care of my family back home.”
After graduating from high school at age 17, Edwards enlisted in the U. S. Army. Describing the recruitment training as a breeze, Edwards disclosed that she had grown accustomed to the discipline and restraint which embodied the armed forces.
She explains, “My mom had always been strict, very strict, so I was used to all the yelling and taking orders from instructors.”
Edwards detailed how she was forced to overcome her fear of water and learned to swim, and challenged herself to be the best in the use of weaponry.
In October 1999, Edwards graduated from her recruitment and joined the U. S. Marine Combat Training Battalion (MCT) which is a superior level of training encapsulating the use of grenades and machine weaponry. After graduating in December, the young Guyanese soldier reported for military duty as a supply logistics clerk.
She received her first duty station at Camp Lejuene in North Carolina in 2002-2003.
Attributing her success to the wonderful mentors who served as senior command officers during that period, Edwards said she was promoted to the rank of corporal. After the World Trade Centre bombing, referred to as the 9/ 11 tragedy, the U. S. Army did not have the facilities to deploy female soldiers, but Edwards was sent to Arlington, Virginia, in 2005 and was later promoted to sergeant.
She was moving quickly through the ranks, and in October 2006, she reported for duty in South Carolina at the drill instructors’ school. Edwards was chosen for the Marshall Arts Instructor’s Course and graduated in 2007 with flying colours to become a drill instructor.
“This was the highlight of my career. I was 25 years old with all these soldiers under my command. It was the most humbling and rewarding experience of my career.”
Reminiscing as if reliving the moments afresh, Edwards recalls the morning of February 2011 when she left for Afghanistan. “I didn’t get to see my mom to say goodbye, but I called her on the phone and she was confident that I was going to return home safe. I left going to the unknown, not knowing what to expect. The travel was long because you cannot go straight into that country for whatever reason, but we got there using different locations.”
Edwards said she did not have time to stop and think about herself since she was the staff sergeant and under her command were junior marines.
“I had to lead them and I couldn’t lead them if I was fearful. My feelings and fears didn’t matter; my energies were focused on taking care of them and ensuring that they were safe and got back home to their families.
“Being a superior in the army is like being a mom or dad and no officer wants to live with that guilt of going back home without a soldier. If you don’t bring back someone’s son or daughter, you can’t face his or her family; you can’t look that person in the eye,” Edwards related.
On arriving in Afghanistan, Edwards and her troop began receiving spine-chilling news. She explained how difficult it was to keep a straight face and show little or no emotion.
“Everything is going through your head. Should I show emotion and let them think I’m weak, or should I withhold my emotions and let them think I’m heartless? Deep down inside there was always this fear that someone may go out and never come back,” she reminisced.
Although Edwards served in logistics and did not face the frontlines, she was instrumental in supporting those who journeyed to the battle fields and assured them that all would be well.
Praying frequently and surrounding herself with positive people, Edwards, along with the other marines, attended a little “tent church” in the community every Sunday. “We were in church with our uniforms and all our weapons, and although it was just a tent with wooden benches; we had to turn to faith and stay strong. We just didn’t think about losing our lives; we just tried to stay strong for the marines.”
Recalling one of the tragic events during that period, Edwards said the marines were training Afghan nationals to achieve military independence when one of the nationals turned his weapon on persons in the safe zone. Some of her close colleagues and their families lost their lives in the shooting.
“That was a difficult moment; looking at the surviving amputees and finding out their ages. It was just devastating. My closest friend lost his leg and I just had to pretend that nothing had happened. I greeted him as normal and we joked about it. That’s how we deal with the tragedy.”
However, when the dust settled and reality set in, Edwards admitted that the emotional scars were extremely deep. There were many sessions of post-deployment counselling and training and an endless supply of support for the returning soldiers. “I’m still affected by loud noises; seeing certain things affects me and it will never go away. I’ve been to New York to visit my mom and just being in the store with many people chattering loudly, I had to leave. It’s always there; you can never get those images out of your head.”
For others, the post-war experience has made them sensitive to the smell of blood, fast- moving vehicles, light, and sound. “We would visit those at the wounded warrior battalion; we try to lift their spirits. Some of them wake up screaming. They have a difficult time.”
Despite this, Edwards has no regrets about the career path she chose and as for her, the war it has changed her outlook on life.
“I no longer take life for granted. It has made me a better person and I cherish all the little moments. I used to be hot-tempered, but after witnessing the transiency of life, I respect people a lot more. It’s strange that such a bad situation turned out to make me a better person, but I am a better person because of it,” the soldier remarked.
There is always an underlying hint of sadness for her colleagues who endured immense suffering, but Edwards feels blessed to have a new lease on life. According to her, she has always been willing to go, whenever duty calls.